Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Dear Listeners - hope all is well with you and yours.  Am travelling in the States right now so no posts from Belfast.  But Belfast is always on my mind so in that Spirit I bring you a post of old - Belfast as it was the Christmas of 2005; (original post follows).

As an exile here in Belfast I feel it's my duty to document the experience for others - what would it be like to be stranded with no friends or family in a strange city during the holidays? 

Well if you're in Belfast it's a lot like being Charlton Heston in Omega Man - but without the vampires. 

Unlike most of America where there's at least one shop open during the holidays in Belfast EVERYTHING is closed.  Which I should have known the day before so I could have at least bought a loaf of bread or something.  But alas the fridge was bare and so I wandered outside to scavenge.  As you can see from the following photos I was alone.  I don't mean the streets were kind of empty - I was the ONLY ONE wandering around this Quiet Earth.

Leaving for the United States

Here's a photo taken at what I'd like to think was the U.S. Consulate here in Belfast.  But alas it's actually the headquarters of the Ulster Bank - situated next to the Consulate.

You can't take photos of the Consulate itself of course.  The Feds are worried takin' pics will steal their soul or something like that.

To enter the Consulate itself one has to go through a horrible security procedure in a bizarre perspex box, isolated away from all in case you have a dirty bomb or some sort of equivalent.  You can't bring in your phone/camera/iPod/cameraphone/camerapod/walkman or anything electronic onto the 'compound'.  Again I think it's cause they're worried about your 'juju'. 

Anyway I had to go to the Consulate to get a replacement passport as the old one was just about full up.  They were pleasant enough inside - not that I got to get close to an actual living person mind you - the procedure involves speaking through another layer of perspex, (plexiglass) - human touch must at all times be avoided.

I would have liked to walk the grounds afterwards but was informed that if I did so the guards would swarm on me pretty quick.

All in all a shitty experience.

What are Americans so scared of?  Jesus, we all have to live in the world.  Maybe they get a lot of threats - who knows?  I'll enquire when I get back - for I'm off to the States you see.

First time in two years.

What will I find?

Am concerned of course.  Folks from the States who don't live or travel outside of that great land mass seem unaware of its total collapse of moral and political authority as of late.  The news coming out of the area is not good.  But then, when did I ever believe the news?

So I'm off on a fact-finding mission Dear Listeners.  I'll record what I find and report back to you in the next podcast.  As I'll be travelling a great deal I may be absent from this blog but I trust commenters like Phil and Jama will keep you entertained.

Stay well.

Arts Society of Ulster 10th Anniversary Exhibition

Hey there Dear Listener - went to the Arts Society of Ulster's 10th Anniversary Exhibition last evening - here's some wee photos for those of you who missed the event.

Now I normally despise openings cause you have to pretend - not the fun kind of pretend where you get to invent stories about yourself and your various exploits - but the kind of pretend where you have to be polite and restrain yourself from sneering at the complete lack of artistry mixed with misguided ambition normally on display at these kind of things.

What's that?

You're calling me an asshole?

A jerk?

Who am I to look down at this collection of, well - OK it is mostly hopeless - but heartfelt work?

Well, you're right of course.

I am being a jerk cause the Arts Society of Ulster's 'main aim is to promote and encourage interest in the fine and applied arts in Northern Ireland', (quote from their catalogue).

And there's nothing wrong with that.  Long-time listeners of the Podcast know how devoted  I am to the propagation of art - and my commitment to art's potential in making the world a better place; and hey, not only do they show work, the Arts Society also organises various courses in areas such as 'life drawing' and awards prizes to young artists and designers. 

So enough of my bitching at the variable quality of the work.  Hell, I can't paint or draw so what right do I have to complain?

No right - so here's some more photos from the opening instead:

Not sure what's happening below.  It's possible they had some sort of disagreement.

This is typical of the work shown:

I hope these two had a good time.  You could buy the art at the show so perhaps they were shopping for a last minute Christmas gift.

This photo is kind of a buffer, and I'll tell you why:

You see - I know I shouldn't bitch.  I agree with what I said above.  I have no right to complain about the work.  Heck, a lot of the artists in the show aren't 'professional' in the traditional sense...but...there is one painting in the show.

It's the worst painting in the world.

I've deliberately hidden it far down in this post to spare you in case you do not have the constitution Dear Reader.

Scroll down if you must.

(Keep Scrolling)

(Almost There)

(Here it comes...)

Good lord that's bad.

OK.  Enough of that. 

If I really believe I can do better than I have to put my money where my mouth, (blog?), is and try myself.  So I went out and got a couple of books, (OK - the 'Zen of Seeing' was actually a gift that I really have not looked at yet).

I'm going to teach myself to draw folks.  If I can't draw or illustrate then I have no right to judge that monstrosity that lurks farther up this post.  I'll start on my trip to the States and report back to you in the next podcast.  Wish me luck.

And if you're in Belfast in the next couple of weeks you could do worse than to visit the Exhibition - here's the details:

Arts Society of Ulster - 10 Annual Exhibition - 2006
The Switch Room
84-89 Great Patrick Street, Belfast
Exhibition continues every day from Wednesday 20th of December till Friday 29th December, excluding Christmas and Boxing Day, 10am till 5pm.

Exhibition Location on Google Maps

Construction in Belfast

Previous construction in Belfast on LTA:

Real Life Meccano Set

I Dream of Flight

I Struggle With the Mercy of Others

I Struggle With the Mercy of Others 2

Today's idea for an art project in Belfast - 'the Never-Ending Construction Site' - a building is constructed and torn down continuously - never quite reaching completion - never completely demolished - over and over again - cyclic without end.

Richard Dawkins on The Late Late Show - RTE

More Dawkins action here:

Richard Dawkins on the Panel

Richard Dawkins on Radio Ulster

Collection of Richard Dawkins Clips

More Richard Dawkins Clips

Belfast Sunset

Lovely sunset here in Belfast yesterday afternoon; photo taken from the roof of the LTA flat.

Previously:  Sunset in Glasgow.

Letter to America - The Irish Podcast - Chapter 54 - A Very Belfast Christmas

Hmm...I Can Taste the Strudel, It's Chapter 54 - A Very Belfast Christmas!

In which the Wii practically kills Wayne, Jemma the Goth Girl is lauded, the Christmas Continental Market is visited, the sampling of the Kleptones is applauded, we spot the evil on the Frappr Map, lady_firestorm wants you to call her, the folks at Eventsec look tough, two girls visit Ohio, too much Bratwurst is eaten, the America Show is critiqued, Dickie Mahood gets heartfelt, true holiday music is found at Santastic and Jett gets all broody.

All this and more on your "The Tourist Board Should Be Paying Me" Irish Podcast.

Richard Dawkins on The Panel

More Richard Dawkins Action, via TCAL.

Santa Pumps Iron in Belfast

This being the Christmas Season and all, why not have a wee look back at these snaps o' Santa taken in the Cornmarket area of Belfast last December?

Santa Lifts Weights in Belfast, (December 21st, 2005)

After being thrown out of Clements for taking photos I wandered the cold streets of Belfast.  Stumbled across these guys.

Robot Modesty

He's fallen and can't get up.  Via Digg.

What interests me is not the falling machine - rather it's the technicians running over and protecting the robot's modesty with that fold-able screen.